Alien Tracking Device
by blahgal
Summary: Alfie's ecstatic when he finds out the aliens are coming for him. Sadly though it's not what it seems for our alien loving house member! Contest entry for GallagherZammieBlackthorne's item contest.


Alfie walked into the common room after a long day of school. He was ready to sit back, relax, and watch a much needed zombie movie marathon. As Alfie flopped down on the coach he noticed a small pack of …something on the coffee table.

He glanced around the room, looking to see if any of his housemates had left it there. Alfie saw no one and he reached down for the package hesitantly. It was small, green, and it had an odd pattern decorating it. At once Alfie knew exactly what it was. It was an alien tracking device.

"I knew it!" He exulted. "The aliens want me as part of their crew! I've got to go tell everybody!" Alfie jumped up off of the coach excitedly. Now all he needed to do was decide who to tell first… Jerome! He would tell Jerome first, after all he was his best friend.

Alfie quickly dashed out of the common room and ran into his and Jerome's room. Sprawled out on his bed lazily was Jerome, who was reading a magazine. "I've found an alien tracking device! I told you they wanted me mate! I told you!" Alfie shouted happily before leaving the room to go tell somebody else, probably Mick and Fabian since their room was right next door. After Alfie had left Jerome looked up from his magazine.

"I really should consider getting Alfie some professional help," He muttered to himself. He thought it over for a moment and then decided it was more entertaining this way anyway. Shrugging his shoulders Jerome went back to his magazine no longer questioning Alfie's odd behavior.

Mick chewed thoughtfully on a banana, he was tired out from a long day of training and it was best if he took a nap. Before he could finish and throw away the rest of his banana Alfie burst into the room.

"Look at this Mick! It's an alien tracking device! They're coming to take me away with them!" Alfie thrust a small green package in his face before fleeing from the room. Mick blinked, trying to retrieve his previous train of thought. _I really need a nap. _

After Alfie had quickly told Mick about the alien device he ran up the stairs to Patricia and Mara's room where he knew for a fact Amber would be convincing Mara to give her a make-over. At the thought of Amber Alfie's excitement quickly dwindled. If he went up with the alien's he may never get to see his girlfriend again. He frowned for a moment but soon thought of a solution; he could convince the alien master to take Amber with him! What alien in their right mind wouldn't want such a pretty girl like Amber walking around their UFO? Certainly not any alien Alfie would ever want to meet.

Alfie threw open the door to see Patricia watching Amber and Mara bicker with each other. "Ladies, ladies! Stop fighting! You may never get to see me again! Well except for Amber! I'll make sure the aliens will bring you along! That's right the aliens have come for me finally! Now I've got to go tell Trudy and Victor!" Alfie babbled on joyfully as the three girls stared at him in bewilderment. Just as quickly as he appeared Alfie left the room, leaving the three confused girls all alone. Patricia glanced over at Amber worriedly.

"Why again is that spaz you're boyfriend Amber?" she asked the shocked blonde. Amber pondered this for a moment before shrugging her shoulders and saying "I'm not really sure, but you've got to admit he keeps me on my toes." Both Mara and Patricia nodded at Amber's simple answer.

"Oh Trudy! I'm going to miss you and your delicious spaghetti! And your yummy cakes ohh and your wonderful pies!" Alfie cried into Trudy's shoulder as he hugged the flabbergasted housemother. She wrapped her arms around him, wondering what exactly was going on. He burst into the kitchen wordlessly and then started blubbering like baby and going on about something she just couldn't figure out.

"Of course sweetie, but why exactly are you going to miss me?" She patted him on the back again as she tried to avoid the snot that was coming out of Alfie's nose. Alfie continued to cry into Trudy's shirt as he explained what was happening.

"The aliens Trudy! They're finally coming for me! I'm going to have to leave and never come back! I'll never get to eat your sweet delicious food ever again! No more warm buns or tasty spaghetti ever again!" He bawls overtook the last part of his statement but Trudy understood most of what he was saying.

"Oh dearie! Where did you ever get the idea that aliens were coming for you?" She comforted him as she patted him on the back lovingly. Sometimes these kids could come with the most interesting things and it really blew her mind.

Before Alfie could answer he saw Nina and Fabian walk into the kitchen together, hands intertwined. He knew they were going to miss him! After all he basically helped solve it all during Sibuna! And there was no doubt he was going to miss constantly teasing them!

"Nina! Fabian! You'll never guess! Something terrible has happened, well for you not for me! The aliens are coming for me!" Alfie tore himself away from Trudy to look at two of his friends. Fabian raised a doubtful eyebrow as both he and Nina tried to contain their giggles. Fabian swallowed his laughs and tried to get more information out of the imaginative Alfie.

"How do you know the aliens are coming for you Alfie?" he asked his friend. Alfie reached into his pants pocket and pulled out the "alien tracking device". Nina's eyes opened wide in shock and she covered her mouth with her hand, trying once again to cover her laughs.

"Look! It's an alien tracking device! The aliens sent it down for me! I'm going to have to leave!" Alfie told them seriously. Nina couldn't take it anymore, this was too much for her. In between her hysterical laughs she explained to Alfie what his "alien tracking device" really was.

"Alife! That's not an alien tracking device!" Her body was now shaking from laughing so hard, "That's my pack of gum!" She buried her face into Fabian's chest as she tried to hide her red face from Alfie

Alfie's face withered in confused pain. The aliens hadn't sent for him? He had mistaken a tracking device for a pack of gum? Where was his immense knowledge of alien's in all of this? "Hey Alfie I'm really sorry," Nina said to him, noticing his pain. "But you can have it if you want it. It's really good gum." Alife glanced down at the packet of gum in his hands. He pulled open the flap that he hadn't noticed before and looked at the long silver wrapped piece of gum. He pulled one out from the box and slowly unwrapped it, revealing its sugary green and yellow tie-dye print. Alfie plucked into from its wrapper and plopped it into his mouth.

Alfie's taste buds exploded in bliss and his sad face was transformed into a huge grin. This was possibly the best gum he had ever had.

"Wow Nina, thanks! This gum is awesome! I'm sure the aliens will come soon anyway!" He skipped happily out of the room as he left behind a very, _very, _alien tracking deivce hating gum loving Anubis House.

**AN/ Hey! This is an entry for GallagherZammieBlackthrone's item challenge. The item I picked was gum! So please review and tell me what you think of Alfie's little alien/ gum adventure through the house!**


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